Hey guys! Sorry this has taken me so long to get back to doing. I may have been hiding out.

(Me effectively hiding out)

BUT.. here I am and I had a dream!

Minor backstory- I barely remember my dreams but since being on my journey I have had some very vivid and graphic dreams that I can remember every detail to.

The truth is, the dreams I tend to remember either come true or are a big knock on the head to get out of my own way. This one was the latter.

This dream started out with me… in a hospital…. in labor….. Now if you know anything about me, you know this isn’t an option in this dimension. I have actively decided to never have kids based on the fact that I feel nothing for them.

Anywho, the dream goes on to increase my labor pains as I start to fight the situation that’s effectively happening. I kick, I scream, I yell, “I don’t want no damn baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I move from the hospital with the idea that if I am not in the hospital then it won’t come. To no avail, I flip into different positions and all the while as I am fighting I am pushing people away who are just trying to help.

The dream came to a literal abrupt jolt when the metal hanging racks in my closet came crashing down and woke me from my deep slumber. Coincidence? I think not…….

At that time of night, and with sleep still plaguing my eyes, I rolled over and went back to sleep nearly immediately but when I awoke, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the very vivid, very jolting dream was a message.

Often, when you dream of births or new babies it means new beginnings. So why was I literally fighting the coming of my new beginning? Would it mean I would have to blow up my life to get it? What would it even mean to have a new beginning? Yes, I am jumping into this new business but the last few weeks I have felt like it is going to go as it should. Maybe I am missing out on some aspect of the fight to get to my actual pathway. Also, why do I keep fighting those around me who just want to offer help and support? I love you guys but it is so ingrained in me to run when someone tells me to sit. Call it my rebellious nature I suppose but it has to be bigger than that. So here I am looking into the darkness that is the fear of abandonment and I have to say, IT IS DEEP.

As you can see, this unforgettable dream has opened up a deep line of questioning all leading to what is next for me and how I should stop fighting the flow.

Tell me, have you ever had a dream this powerful? Let me know in the comment section.

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